he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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