You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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