butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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