hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
