he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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