Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
