Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
