And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
