I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
