I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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