I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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