That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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