how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
