I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
then he tried to convert me to islam
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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