i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
