The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
