I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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