she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
