Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am midnight drunk by noon
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
