both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
