We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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