Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm at about main and main street
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
