Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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