I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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