Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
