Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He shit in the fireplace
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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