i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she smelled like a LAN party
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
