he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
