My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
