have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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