Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
