he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
