It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
