My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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