Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
