You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
