all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
His nipple licking is glorious
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