Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
