I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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