Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
