Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
