Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
