made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
