think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
