i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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