Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
