So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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