I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
