God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
