the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
