Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
